20 abril 2018

Jedi are evil and incompetent -They must go!

The Jedi must disappear because they are incompetent and evil

Before starting this rant, a few words about my methodology.
  • Obviously there will be spoilers for all movies.
  • Most of my research is what I recall from the movies: Original trilogy, prequels, Episodes VII and VIII. I went to the Internet to check up on a couple of names but that's it.
  • No Clone Wars, because I have only watched a few episodes of one season.
  • Only one reference to the Expanded Universe -which is no longer canon in any case-, regarding events that took place 4,000 years before the Battle of Yavin (Ep. IV).

The Jedi are incompetent:

  • They are oblivious to Darth Sidious, who for years plots and accumulates power and influence in the Republic Senate, until it is too late (Episodes I-III).
  • In Episode I, maverick Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn decides of his own accord to train Anakin, a young slave boy he has rescued. Unfortunately for both of them, he gets on the wrong end of Darth Maul's light saber/staff. With his dying breath he charges Anakin's education to his padawan Obi-Wan, who is not even a full Jedi Knight yet, and now faces the task of training the most powerful and conflictive Force-user in history. We all know how that ended.
  • They seem blind to Anakin's first steps to the dark side, until (again) too late.

Who is the worst teacher? Obi-Wan vs Yoda

Throughout the prequels, Anakin Skywalker is treated in a cruel and negligent fashion, making him easily seduced by the Dark Side.

In Ep. III, when Anakin expresses worry over his mother, Obi-Wan admonishes him instead of providing support, which eventually causes his pupil to abandon his mission to go rescue his mom, arriving just in time to have her die in his arms and triggering Anakin's murderous spree of Sand People.

Twenty-odd years later, in Episode IV Obi-Wan lies to Luke, trying to indoctrinate him against his father Anakin. More on this below.

Obi-Wan (and later Yoda) also hide important information from Luke: his sister Leia. Why not train her in the ways of the Jedi? Another descendant of Anakin, powerful in the Force would be a great ally against the Empire.

The Jedi in general and Yoda particularly insist on suppressing emotions: "I sense much fear in you... Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering!" What the hell? You have a child in front of you, alone and afraid, light years away from everything he knows and the one person who's shown him love, and you crap all over him because he's afraid, and to add insult to injury, you decide he shouldn't be trained, "because he's too old".

Twenty-odd years later, Yoda pulls the same "too old" crap when Luke arrives on Dagobah. In case you haven't noticed, he is the only pupil available, because apparently his sister is not worth training either.

Who is the worst teacher? part II: Luke also sucks

Luke follows in Obi-Wan's steps. After witnessing the turmoil of negative emotions within his nephew Ben Solo, Luke considers (for a moment) killing him. Although he does not follow through, Ben feeling being betrayed by his mentor, turns full dark side, adopting the persona of Kylo Ren (Ep. VIII).

In the wake of such a huge blunder, Luke -like the Master Jedi who've preceded him- hides. We've been told for decades that Jedi are brave and face their mistakes. The examples set by Yoda, Obi-Wan and Luke prove otherwise.

When Rey -a powerful Force-user- finally finds him, Master Skywalker does a Yoda-tantrum and refuses to train her, leaving her to explore without warning or information the cave of the Dark side, with the consequent risk of her going over. Meanwhile he's off milking space ostriches to drink blue milk.

Luke is right about one thing, however: The Jedi must disappear. They are nefarious!

The Jedi bureaucracy

In the prequels we see the Jedi in full splendour, with huge office buildings, palaces and libraries. I'd love to be a Jedi librarian, with a light saber and many books.

But there are no Jedi accountants nor auditors. They might have traced the funds channelled by Master Sifo-Dyas in Ep. II to pay for the clone army manufactured on planet Kamino.

So many renegade Jedi

Former Jedi Knight Count Dooku becomes Darth Tyranus. How was he allowed to leave the Jedi, while Anakin never had the option, as he was always told it was a lifetime commitment.

Let's not forget the greatest renegade Jedi, our beloved Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader.

In the comics detailing ancient history in the Starwars universe there were many Jedi going over to the Sith... The temples on Yavin 4 (Ep. IV) were built by a race of beings enslaved by a Sith Lord, formerly a Jedi.

The Jedi are Evil, the bad guys of the saga

They behave like a religious cult, manipulative and cruel

Indoctrinating children from a very young age, separating them from their parents, "before they form an attachment". Episodes I and III.

Giving a hard time and generally being a jerk to nine-year old Anakin, arguing he is "too old" (harder to manage?) to begin training, in addition to the stress from the aforementioned separation from his mother.

Focus on emotion suppression, not control. Classic brainwashing. Repressing emotions causes Anakin stress, guilt and depression.

Accept and support oppressive social systems

I did not come here to free slaves - Qui-Gon Jinn, Ep. I

His justification was that the mission was to protect Queen Amidala. But why don't Jedi as an institution, do something for the slaves? Is slavery constitutional in the Old Republic? The Jedi are subject to the Senate which makes them a sort of police force for the government, which in turn raises ugly questions about the separation of Church and State. If this is the case, the Old Republic was built on immoral principles and therefore Palpatine / Darth Sidious did the right thing in bringing it down.

Liars and manipulators - The truth... from a certain point of view

Practically the first thing Obi-Wan tells Luke in Episode IV is a flat-out lie: Darth Vader, a young Jedi who was pupil of mine, until he turned to evil... betrayed and murdered your father.

Granted, it is no easy task to tell your most promising prospect his dad is a genocidal psychopath and that he'll have to kill him some day, but you could have given him a sanitised version of the truth.

They couldn't foresee that Darth Vader would tell Luke about his heritage? No wonder they didn't want Luke to face him with so little brain washing training.

26 enero 2017

Anakin Carrington 2005-2017

Mi querido Anakin murió anoche en México.
Era un people person y quería a todo mundo; me gusta pensar que yo era su humano favorito.
Lo cual no significa que me respetara, ni le impedía hacer travesuras de vez en cuando.
Junto con Milo, es uno de los gatos con más personalidad que han bendecido mi vida.

Me partió el corazón que no pudiera acompañarnos a Canadá, pero estaré por siempre agradecido a la familia que lo adoptó y consintió tanto como nosotros.

18 marzo 2015

Vancouver stories

Red light

Late night. A young woman is in line at Starbucks.
A young man comes up behind and taps her shoulder. 

“Hi. I noticed you. You're cute.”

“Thank you”

“I wanted to meet you. My name is L___”

“I'm N______”

“What are you up to?”

“Getting coffee”

“Haha, I see. Why do you have a bag?”

“I'm going to my boyfriend's place”

“Have a good night”

He walks out

24 febrero 2015

Extañando a Milo

Uno de mis propósitos de año nuevo es retomar la escritura, ya sea en cuentos o en blogs.

He decidido comenzar con algo muy sencillo: Una foto de Milo, mi “gato león”, a quien extraño mucho, pero que estoy seguro está husmeando e investigando donde quiera que van esos personajes que transforman tu vida, siendo mucho más que una mascota.

15 mayo 2012

Canadá - Año 1 - 1

Hoy hace un año llegué a Canadá.  Ha sido el comienzo de una serie de cambios muy profundos en mi vida.

Antes de partir
La decisión de emigrar se dio a lo largo de un proceso que duró poco más de una década -- a mediados de los noventas aplicamos y nos aceptaron, pero por las circunstancias y nuestros miedos, no dimos el brinco.  Sin embargo, el germen de la idea, el "gusanito" permaneció en nuestras mentes durante todos esos años, hasta que varios eventos del dominio de la sociedad mexicana funcionaron como catalizador para aplicar nuevamente.

A lo largo de los tres y pico años que duró el trámite, hubo momentos en los que Sweetie Pie y yo nos cuestionábamos si las dificultades que surgían en el trayecto, eran pruebas para asegurar que íbamos bien, o señales que nos indicaban que íbamos por el camino errado.

Va en serio: Ahora o nunca
Cuando nos dieron la visa, nos preguntamos - ¿Ya no es el momento? ¿podré encontrar trabajo en un entorno donde nadie me conoce?  ¿qué tan difícil será para las niñas ajustarse? ¿vamos hacia un mejor lugar o nos estamos dando por vencidos con la situación en México? No éramos las mismas personas que cuando empezamos el trámite.

Con parentela y amigos, hubo de todo - desde quien nos felicitaba emocionado y brindó todo el apoyo, hasta quien proyectó sus temores enumerando las mil y un razones por las que es una pésima idea.

Cuando por fin nos dieron la visa, creímos haber pasado la parte complicada - en realidad fue simplemente engorrosa, lo complicado vino después.